Please and Thank You Mommy is Single: Blame Her New Year and a New You Saying Good-Bye to 2011 with Project Kinect
The Single Life: When You Have A Fresh Mouth

The Single Life: When You Have A Fresh Mouth

by Sam Phillips

My mom gave me some not-so-great advice many years ago. She used to say to me, “Samantha (which was code for: ‘You’re in trouble’) –- keep your legs and your mouth closed.” Sometimes it was simply, “shut your hole,” when she was irritated by my sound.

I wasn’t allowed to speak much as a child and when I was, what I said was often inappropriate with sexual undertones. I also had really bad timing in public.

The Single Life: When Love Doesn't Work - Should You Stay, Or Walk Away?

The Single Life: When Love Doesn’t Work – Should You Stay, Or Walk Away?

Who in their right mind consciously chooses to stay in an unhealthy and unhappy relationship? A crazy person with self-esteem issues and boatloads full of baggage, that’s who. If you’re smart though, after a while you know when to cut your losses and make a run for it. Or not.

At some point in our lives we have all endured one (or possibly more) of these types of dysfunctional love affairs and we tried to make it work. Why?

There are many contributing factors that prevent a good person from walking away from a bad relationship. Stupidity and fear are two of the biggest reasons. Sometimes you haven’t figured out yet why you’re still there, and other times you do know why, but you’ve either settled or compromised to stay in your situation.

Oftentimes age plays a hand on both ends of the spectrum. Either you’re young and don’t know what your boundaries are yet, or you’re older and have a fear of never finding anyone better. Some like to play savior with people and pick mates that are needy, co-dependent, or who are “diamonds in the rough.” Others have made a deal with the Devil and trade being taken care of for being treated nicely. And then there those who actually believe they can ultimately change a person, or inspire them out of love to go back to being the way they used to at the beginning of dating.

If you are currently and constantly fighting with your significant other, or you feel like you’re riding a roller coaster of up-and-down emotions destination unknown, or you need a peace treaty brokered between the two of you by friends or family every other week – then you need to reevaluate your reasons for being there in the first place.

What are you really looking for from this person, to be needed, saved or entertained? Are you trying to impose your will, or are you of the same mind as your mate? Here’s a little test to see if you should stay in your present relationship, or consider walking away.

Ask yourself these questions:

• Are you 100% committed to making your relationship work?
• Do you unconditionally love and support the person you are with?
• Do you have mutual respect and established boundaries?
• Do you enjoy spending time together?
• Do you consider this person your best friend?
• Do you spend time apart, with your own friends?
• Are you having satisfying sex together on a regular basis?
• Are you both faithful to each other?
• Do your family and friends like this person?
• Do you feel like you are a team fully committed to overcoming your obstacles together?
• Do you truthfully communicate your feelings to this person and actually hear what they are saying back to you?
• Are you selfless in your actions and words without fear of this person’s reprisal or judgment?
• Are you able to compromise what you want at times without feeling resentment towards this person for having to do so?
• Are you able to get past your combined financial burdens?
• Do you pick your battles? And if so, are you able to remove your ego from the equation?
• Do you apologize when you’re wrong?
• Are you both able to go to bed free of anger every night?

If you answered “No” to ANY of these questions, you need to grab a piece of paper, fold it in half and do the old-fashioned “Pros” and “Cons” lists. Start by putting down the answers to the questions I asked you here, and then personalize it with ones that matter to you. Everyone has their own checklist for love. When you’re done, add the columns up. Usually it’s obvious what you should do.

If you answered “Yes” to all of the above – Congratulations! You have the perfect relationship and you must share your story with all of your friends so they can have you guys as an example to aspire to. Hell, we all need role models.

Before giving up on anything I always give it one last go, so I can say I did everything in my power to make it work before finally admitting it didn’t. Sometimes try as you may, it’s impossible to find conflict resolution. In those cases using a neutral 3rd party with no ulterior motives, like a professional therapist or couples counselor, will help you both communicate effectively, find common ground and come to a mutual understanding.

You should walk away from each encounter with every person you meet in your life learning a little bit more about who you are and what makes you happy or unhappy; the opposite sex and what you do or do not require in a partner; relationships and what you will or will not tolerate; and human nature, how our emotions and environment affect the way we solve problems and influence the way we treat others.

The key to making love work is to apply what you’ve learned from your successes, and not repeat your mistakes. And then all you need is to find someone who answered, “Yes” to all my questions!

You can hear more Sam Phillips and The Single Life at Hot Talk LA

You can follow Sam Phillips on Twitter

You can friend Sam Phillips on Facebook

You can find out more about Sam Phillips on Wikipedia

The Single Life: Sex Tips To Spice Up Your Love Life for 2011

The Single Life: Sex Tips To Spice Up Your Love Life for 2011

I’ve been around the block so many times that it’d be safe to say I’ve circled the globe at least twice in my quest for sexual satisfaction. When I was younger (I’m 44 now), I was insecure about my body and how men felt about me in general. I was also afraid to tell my partners my feelings or what I wanted them to do to me in bed out of fear of being judged. It took me a long time and a lot of practice to feel confident in my abilities to please others and to learn my body and what made me feel good.

Over the years, I’ve become quite the “sexpert”: All the wiser for my wear and more than willing to share what I’ve learned with you! Here are a few of my tried and true tips to spice up your sex life for the new year – use one, or two, combine three, four or more – it’s all up to you!

#1. Watch a Sexy Movie Together – Let her choose it though. That way she feels she’s in control and you’re not pushing her into watching your sick and twisted fantasies. Plus you’ll both pick up ideas to incorporate into your own lovemaking sessions. (And it’s also a good way to introduce her to Tip #13)

#2. Masturbate in Front of Each Other – And masturbate each other. Nothing’s hotter than watching your partner get off. There’s no better way for you learn what your mate likes having done to them than by seeing them do it to themselves. Then you give it a try.

#3. Talk Dirty – Tell your partner what you want done to you sexually, and what you intend on doing to them. It helps break the ice, plus you end up letting that person know up front what you like in bed. (Use in conjunction with Tip #2)

#4. Role Play – Whether it’s meeting at a random bar and pretending you don’t know each other; you’re the master and she’s the slave; or you’re an intruder, she’s sleeping and you break in and overpower her… it’s good to play around and be other people in the bedroom. Both men and women like variety and this is a good way to satisfy that craving without leaving the relationship.

#5. Dress Up – Throw on a wig and be someone else for a night. Dressing up in lingerie is good too. It doesn’t have to be expensive to get the point across. Or, be adventurous and don a nurse’s uniform or a French maid’s outfit. Getting into character helps you act out your suppressed fantasies. (This works well with Tip #4)

#6. Try a New Position – If you’re a missionary girl, go for it doggy style. If you’re the type who spoons, get on top. Switch it up. Don’t always do the same position over and over. Your partner starts anticipating a specific routine in bed and that takes the fun and spontaneity out of your lovemaking.

#7. Give Massages – Make it a ritual to rub one another every night. It doesn’t need to be a full-blown massage, but it’s important for your partner to feel your touch. Especially if one or both of you has had a hard day. Plus, touching leads to sex!

#8. Plan a Date Night Once a Week – It’s easy to fall into a routine or get bogged down by your daily rituals, especially if you have kids or a demanding job or schedule. You need to plan one night a week to make your partner feel as important as the other things you spend time on.

#9. Do It Outside Your Comfort Zone – Whether you try it with the lights on, in public, or if you have kids; go for it in the closet, bathroom, attic or basement. Banging in hidden and forbidden places heightens the risk factor and creates an adrenaline filled experience.

#10. Experiment with Toys – Dildos, vibrators, butt plugs, bullets, cock rings, nipple clamps, lubes, whips… there are so many choices of sex aid. My advice is to check out the website and pick something out together. Type in the promo code: SAM at checkout for 50% off most items, Free S&H, 3 Free DVD’s and an extra sexy gift.

#11. Use Food – As an aphrodisiac or a sex aid. Food can be used to stimulate your libido (consuming oysters, asparagus, bananas, garlic, chocolate, caviar and champagne), or to lick off your partner’s body (whipped cream, chocolate syrup, honey, frozen ice pops and ice cubes).

#12. Restraints – Control seems to play a big role in relationships. Whether you use silk ties, fuzzy cuffs or the real things, it’s nice sometimes to switch up the balance of power, and give up yours. If you’re really adventurous, use a blindfold and a ball gag to create the full effect.

#13. Try a Threesome – If it’s her idea. And don’t use her friend! Someone always ends up crying with hurt feelings: like your girlfriend. My suggestion, hire someone. You pay them to walk away at the end with no drama. (Tip #1 works well as a warm up to this idea)

#14. Install a Stripper Pole – Or take pole-dancing lessons. Face it ladies, guys love strippers. What better way to keep him out of the clubs then by learning the tricks of the trade and becoming his own private dancer?

#15. Bear Gifts – Get Blowjobs! Girls love getting presents, the bigger the trinket and the better the reward you’ll get. Just letting you guys know we like incentive to show you how grateful we are.

Bonus Tip:

#16. Give Up the Ass – If it’s the one thing you’ve been holding out on, use it for leverage. It’s a good bartering tool (ie: I’ll give up my ass, if you’ll… fill in the blank).

You can hear more Sam Phillips and The Single Life at Hot Talk LA

You can follow Sam Phillips on Twitter

You can find out more about Sam Phillips on Wikipedia

Review: 'The Hangover Part II'

Review: ‘The Hangover Part II’

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(CNN) — Anyone who has ever experienced a hangover will recognize the symptoms: nausea, fatigue, a throbbing headache and pangs of regret. That’s the experience of “The Hangover Part II” in a nutshell.

If the first film came as a pleasant surprise or even an invigorating shock, the only thing unexpected about the sequel is just how spectacularly stale and unfunny it manages to be.

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News of the World prints apology

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News of the World bannerThe News of the World’s owner has admitted there were at least eight victims of phone hacking

The News of the World has issued an apology in this Sunday’s edition over the phone-hacking scandal.

The paper said of the victims: “Here today, we publicly and unreservedly apologise to all such individuals.”

It added: “What happened to them should not have happened. It was and remains unacceptable.”

The News of the World’s owner News International has admitted there were at least eight victims and has put aside £20m in compensation.

The paper said that a number of individuals had brought breach of privacy claims against it over wrongful voicemail interceptions between 2004 and 2006, and others were threatening to do so.

It continued: “Evidence has recently come to light which supports some of these claims.

“We have written to relevant individuals to admit liability in these civil cases and to apologise unreservedly, and will do the same to any other individuals where evidence shows their claims to be justifiable.

“We hope to be able to pay appropriate compensation to all these individuals, and have asked our lawyers to set up a compensation scheme to deal with genuine claims fairly and efficiently.”

The BBC understands that News International is ready to settle claims over phone hacking with eight people including actress Sienna Miller, former Culture Secretary Tessa Jowell, designer Kelly Hoppen and sports broadcaster Andy Gray.

The others are lawyer and Mrs Jowell’s estranged husband David Mills; former aide to ex-Deputy Prime Minister Lord Prescott, Joan Hammell; assistant to publicist Max Clifford, Nicola Phillips; and former Olympian and talent agent Sky Andrew.

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